This is what I had in mind when I told you those three words.

by Grace

Do you know why I keep on coming to these events even when they disappoint me everytime? I keep coming for a chance to feel a little bit less lonely. I know I usually leave emptyhanded, but the littlest hope of changing everything, even if it’s just for once, keeps dragging me to this places. And yes. It happens, for brief seconds, it does. This solitude I always carry with me fades away when you look at me. When you smile at me. When you say hi to me. When you come here and sit next to me and make me look into your eyes and talk to you about anything. In those moments, I am happy. Those moments are worth going through all the hatred I exude the rest of the night. So I could say I come here for you, and you alone; and even when most of the time you’re busy being a part of everyone else’s world, sometimes you come to mine, and it makes me happy.

Please, please don’t let these words scare you away, because I know they might. I understand that you have more people around you than I’ll ever have, but I don’t mind. I just want you to be a part of my life and I want to be part of yours, even if it’s just a little one. I want you to keep talking to me and forcing me to look at you in the eyes and making me smile, because no one else knows how to do it like you do. And you have no idea how much that means to me.

You know, sometimes… sometimes I feel like I love you.

And that’s why I keep coming to this places. Despite the hatred and loneliness.